Bride on a Budget: Unveiled

Is this bride blushing, or just a little buzzed? Here's part of a (pretty creepy) Budweiser ad from Companion magazine. 

I used to think that thimbles were just decorative notions for seamstresses past. (Or, better yet, twee places to pot the tiniest plants!)  

I mean, how cute are these?!

That was before I stabbed myself while trying to sew my bridal veil. (Granted, it was 12:30 on a Tuesday night and I had started to lose my manual dexterity/mind, but still...YouTube made it look so easy!)

So while I pouted and nursed my pin-pricked thumb, I figured I may as well learn the history of this accessory. 

It turns out that brides have donned veils for a long time: in ancient Rome, gals wore flame-colored adornments intended to protect them from evil spirits. It sounds pretty cool to saunter up to the altar swathed in orange and red! But these days, veils tend to be white. That trend started in the 19th century, when veils came to symbolize virginity. Brides had modest, covered faces until the ceremony concluded and the groom lifted the veil, taking "possession" of his new wife. (And maybe preparing her for wedding-night undressing? Bow chicka bow wow.) 

I think it's fascinating that veils have such different valences in different contexts. When a bride wears one, it's because she's chaste--but veils are also part of the stereotypical courtesan costume. On one hand, there's the idea of the shielded virgin; on the other, the seductive harem girl. (And, of course, there's an extremely nuanced and contentious context surrounding veils as religious garb.) Is there a category for ladies who just want to look classy and retro?

Like so many of the traditions surrounding weddings, I'm a bit apprehensive about all of the socio-cultural context involving veils. It's no secret that I have had conjugal relations. (Not a ton, but a few...enough that this white dress isn't fooling anyone, and I wouldn't want it to.) I don't want to perpetuate the allure of the "pure" bride or the wiser, worldlier groom raising my veil and ushering me into an adult life. Jason and I are partners: we're entering into this new arrangement together. Maybe he should wear a veil, too? 

It's probably this line of thinking that caused me to take veil-making into my own (clumsy) hands. I love the feisty, flirty aesthetic of birdcage veils, and I guess I thought that crafting my own would somehow extricate me from the gendered constructs around weddings. Of course, it's not really that simple. Each couple needs to figure out a path to the altar that doesn't involve either of them feeling like they're compromising their politics. (You might want to pack a thimble...or at least some gauze and Neosporin.)